The Gay & Lesbian Community

If you have a Joke to share post it here…Love to hear from you all.

“Do hearts have legs?.”

Little Johnny once asked his teacher “Do hearts have legs?.”

The teacher answered “Why do you ask that?”

Johnny replied “Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs.”

“mommy’s black sponge.”

Little Johnny sees his mother walk out of the shower and sees her vagina.

He asks her what it is and she embarassed replies, “Oh, that’s mommy’s black sponge.”

A few days later, Johnny spills a glass of milk on the floor and says, “Mommy, I need your black sponge to mop up the milk!”

She replies, “I lost it, honey.”

A couple of days later, he comes running up to her and says, “Mommy, I found your black sponge!” Mystified, she says, “Where, honey?”

Little Johnny says, “It’s over at Mrs. Johnson’s house, and Daddy’s washing his face in it!”

“Mommy’s Balloons”

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest!?” Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.” Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys’ dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!!” His father says, “Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?” “Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys’ balloons and she’s screaming, “Oh God, I’m coming!”

“The birds and the Bee’s”

Little Johnny’s father asked him, “Do you know about the birds and the bees?”

“I don’t want to know!” little Johnny said, bursting into tears.

Confused, the father asked little Johnny what was wrong.

“Oh dad,” Little Johnny sobbed, “At age six I got the ‘there’s no Santa’ speech. At age seven I got the ‘there’s no Easter bunny’ speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the ‘there’s no tooth fairy’ speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really fuck, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”

“substitute teacher”

Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher.

She says, “Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an “r” after the first letter.”

The entire class says, “Hello Mrs. Prussy.”

A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets to his desk the teacher asks what her name is.

Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, “I remember it has an “r” after the first letter.”

“That’s right!” she coaxed.

Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, “Mrs. Crunt?”

“Word Game”

In school Mrs. Rogers was playing a word game with the kids.

She would shout out a letter and then pick on a student, and the student would pick a word that starts with the letter.

Mrs. Rogers said the letter “B” and Johnny raised his hand.

Since Mrs. Rogers thought he’d say bitch She called on Sally instead. Sally said Ball

Mrs. Rogers said the letter “P”, and Johnny raised his hand again.

Since Mrs. Rogers thought he’d say Pussy, she called on Frank, who said paper.

Finally, Mrs. Rogers said the letter “R”, and again Johnny raised his hand.

Mrs. Rogers couldn’t think of a bad word that started with “R” so she picked Johnny.

Johnny hesitated and said “Rat” …. “A Big Mother Fucking Rat”

Source

Drinking to forget

A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 tequilas. The bartender
asked, “What’s wrong.”

The guy says that he just found out that his younger son is gay.
The bartender says, “I’m sorry about that buddy.”

After a couple of days the guy comes back and orders 15 tequilas.
The bartender enquires, “What’s wrong now?” To which the guy
responds that he found out that his older son was gay, too. The
bartender says that he’s sorry.

The guy returned a few days later and ordered 20 tequilas. The
bartender burst out, “Isn’t anyone in your family gettin’ any
pussy?!” and the guy looks up and sneers, “Yeah, my wife!!!!!”

Identity Crisis

An old cowboy dressed to kill with a cowboy shirt, hat, jeans,
spurs, and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink.

As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.
After she ordered her drink, she turned to the cowboy and asked
him, “Are you a real cowboy?” To which he replied, “Well, I have
spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses,
mending fences. I guess I am.”

After a short while, he asked her what she was.
She replied, “I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about
women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I
eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of
women.”

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.
A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
To which he replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out
that I’m a lesbian.”

Source

Hi all,

The new chatroom is up … but it’s not working quite the way I imagined. I was hoping that it would display on the front page .. but it doesn’t. In order for it to work, someone else has to be logged in to the site, then just visit:

http://gayandlesbiancommunity.com/?a=xdtalk

There will be lots of changes .. you’re visiting at the very, very beginning. We’ll get something up that you can chat with instantly on the front page.

Just … give me some times.

Thanks and Have fun!

I just had to share this with everyone, in light of the gay pride post and celebrations.

It’s a “fire rainbow”. THE rarest of all naturally occuring atmospheric phenomena.

This particular picture was photographed on the Idaho and Washington borders, and spanned approximately one hour.

In order for the phenomena to occur, the clouds must be cirrus, at least 20k feet in the air, and have just the right amount of ice crystals. The sun has to be precisely placed and hit the clouds at exactly 58 degrees.

Now .. THAT is quite a phenomena.

FireRainbow Courtesy of Snopes